Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
To my narcissistic surprise, many outfits were chosen, hairstyles created, and locations scouted with hopes of not resembling any hint of the elephant man. Then, out of nowhere, Sunday slowly crept up on me and I was unfortunately exposed to my own brand of torture. "Camera shy" doesn't even begin to describe how uncomfortable I was. The minutes ticked by painfully slow, the sun beamed down on my powder-coated skin, and I was blatantly aware of the neighborhood passers by. Needless to say, I pushed forward. I attempted to discover my inner-Tyra (smiling with my eyes). I imagined Janice Dickinson shouting foul insults in my face. Hell, even Heidi Klum evoked some inspiration - but no matter how much I trekked forth, I was completely out of my element. There's a reason why I want to be behind the camera!!!
I had a thought.... The level of confidence people attain is quite thought provoking, don't you think? I would love to be the type of person who shines in a picture, hogs the spotlight, and devours celluloid attention. You know, the person who is so excruciatingly comfortable in their own skin, they feel no need to apologize for standing right in front of you during a candid group photograph (you know who you are). As I sat on the cement stoop in my $20 wool coat (in 80 degree weather, might I add!) and Joslyn snapped away, I had a choice. I could either sit on the pavement quietly seething and undeniably miserable because of this self-inflicted situation. Or, I could throw caution to the wind, accept the fact that I'm not a model, and simply have fun.... and so I did.
With a couple shots of vodka, of course....
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Without any fair warning, yesterday was one of those days...
As my eyes flicked open Monday morning, I was instantly opposed to the start of the day. The teeniest agitations became magnified and I was filled with this seething irritation. The slightest occurrence would set me off like a ticking time bomb of frustration. I literally became Shannen Doherty circa 1993. Shoot, girl... I became Oprah Winfrey with wet hair (I would CUT you!).
However, as I stepped outside onto my Los Angeles suburban street, I noticed something I rarely pay attention to (yet get so much gratification out of) -- my neighbor's trimmed rose bushes lining the yard. I noticed the piercing red color. The glossy emerald leaves. The warm, fall sun bouncing off the velvet-like pedals. It was like a scene from American Beauty. Suddenly, I was reinforced with an air of positivity. Instead of beginning my day with such hostility, I forced myself to observe my surroundings and actually look at the world around me.
At that very moment, I grabbed a nearby pad and pen, scribbled a succinct message, and placed the piece of paper in my neighbor's mailbox.
I felt this 'thank you' note was well overdo. Anything that can keep Shannen Doherty (circa 1993) from emerging deserves all the appreciation they can get...
"But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in." - Ricky Fitts (American Beauty)