Someone dry off my seat.
Her name is NICOLE ATKINS.
Seriously, not a single mention of my hetero lover.
Fine, I'll put another dollar in the Diablo jar.
1) If you look passed the blursula, it appears as though the sheer disdain from waiting in line has soaked in. Not true. It was just a photo op to pitch the camera. However, I must admit that the anticipation made my stomach curl. Felt as though I downed a fist-full of laxatives and washed it down with prune juice. Classy. I know.
2) As I waited patiently, I eavesdropped to the kind sir in front of me. He brought his A-game! He made mad convo about the Wizard of Gore. Ku-dos man, you have decent taste in slasher movies. If I was better prepared, I'd have presented her with a bottle of Snow Peak Peach flavored Boones.
3) Being the vain, narcisischick I am (not really), I asked Larz if my hair looked okay. I'm not kidding, my hair has the tendency to friz on overcast days. I'm talking Diana Ross....with a perm....being electrocuted.
4) Kindly, the sweet girl behind me said I "looked good". However, the more I examine this picture, the more I'm convinced she's looking disgustedly at my hair.
5) Oh, my heterosexual lover. Apparently, before Lawrence took the picture, she said, "Don't let me flash the camera too much. Wait a sec, let me stack them on the glass." Then, in Diablo Cody fashion, she puts her ladies on the counter top. That a girl!