The Most Wonderful Time of the Queer

Can you feel it? The most magical time of the year is upon us. The sweet aroma of grandma's Creme de Cacao and Peppermint Schnapps fills the air. The fluorescent glimmer of the penis-shaped Christmas bulbs line the tree. Even the traditional mistletoe serves as a seasonal excuse for the obligatory make-out session. It's like a scene out of Frank Capra's It's A Wonderful Life. Every time a bell rings, a fairy gets her wings..... That's right, it's Christmas in September!

This past weekend I was fortunate enough to participate in a good ole' fashioned Holiday tradition. Each year, a local gay bar hosts “Christmas in September”, an event supporting the Childrens Hospital Los Angeles. And I must say, this was like nothing I've ever seen before. The club was completely transformed with elaborate Christmas décor, fake snow, speciality cocktails, and even a very sexy Saint Nick ("here cums Santa Clause, here cums Santa Clause..."). Suddenly, the spirit of the Holidays flooded through me like rum-spiked egg nog. It was like a page from Irving Berlin's White Christmas...... except with trannies and gay men.

After cocktail 2, 3, and 7, we were all treated to some merry entertainment (Or should I say "Mary" entertainment?). One of the transgendered ho-ho-ho star's from Dirty, Sexy, Money graced the stage with a handful of uh-mazing performances. She's undeniably gorgeous with an ass that won't quit and breasts of a greek goddess. She even donned a festive, sexy Santa suit and sat on Santa's lap!! "I saw tranny kissing Santa Clause, underneath the camel toe last night...." (I like bursting out in perverted Christmas tunes.... so?)

After the liquor subsided, I was hit with a strong feeling of Christmas nostalgia. Aside from the go-go dancing elves and the 2 for 1 'Frostie the Blow Man' Martinis, this experience actually geared me up for December. Yes, I admit, I'm just as excited for door-to-door caroling, cookie-baking, and tree-trimming merriment as the next queen, but that's not what I'm truly anticipating. To me, Christmas is family. It's friends. It's love, happiness, and the reminiscence of childhood. It's the time of year when the stress from your job is irrelevant and petty disputes are moot. (I actually thought about all this while inebriated... I'm far too analytical).

Anyway, now the official countdown has truly commenced. Three more months till the most wonderful time of the year. Until then I'll just have to patiently wait.... While visions of sugar-fairies dance in my bed. ;)