What. A. Weekend. Let me tell you, I've went from underground hermit to "social" butterfly in a matter of minutes. Not exactly by choice, but I finally have shaken-up my increasingly mundane life, traveled beyond my remote control and into the light of day (Or night...)Friday night, I opted to enter the epicenter of the L-gAy hot spot. The place where homos flock towards to meet (meat?) other eyeliner wearing, Madonna-listening men for a random night hook up. More commonly known as the Los Angeles gay bar.
Upon entering, I was initially blind sighted by the array of exceedingly attractive guys at the bar. The bodies were flawless. The bleach teeth were blinding. Naturally, I decided that the more alcohol I consumed, the better I'd feel about myself.
How wrong was I! Instead, my insecurities became intensified and I regrettably started seeing double. Now instead of, say, 5 gorgeous Abercrombie & Fitch models. I saw 10...Unfortunately, any hint of class dissipated and my motor skills became obsolete. In fact, I think I left half my Vodka cranberry on a guy's pressed Diesel jeans. I was mortified. Was I a hot mess? Yes. Bitchy gay? No. That specific role was filled by 95% of the patrons. Prior to my spillage, I noticed that EGO was the primary source of energy in the room, and if you didn't fit into the preconceived "hot guy" notion then they'd definitely let you know.
I know, I shouldn't let my first gay bar excursion hinder any future outings, but I think I need to take it slow... like a virgin (There. A Madonna reference. Does that get me any closer to Queenville?) Or simply, I just need to ease my way into this new crowd, so I don't feel completely out of place. A gaylien in this narcissistic (queer) universe.
In the meantime, I'm not sure how soon I'll jump back on the saddle. I'm like Puxatony Phil. I went out. I saw my shadow. I'll see you next Winter.
1 comment:
oh, eli... you're right. don't let your first visit hinder you. i remember my first time at a gay bar, i was totally out-of-place. although it was a decent time (i had a gay guy show me around), it was still kinda awkward and overwhelming with all the guys there. but you'll get used to it as you keep going.
even today, i still think it's like going to a high school dance. everyone is in their own little clique and everyone seems to know each other AND their business. just be glad that you know that you're not like the rest... maybe that'll make you stand out instead of spilling your drink on someone's diesel jeans. i swear if i was that guy that you spilled a drink on, you wouldn't be alive long enough to write this blog. :)
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