Let California Ring

Before I get down and dirty, let me just preface this entry by advocating how much respect I have for this ad campaign. I'm a major supporter of gay marriage (obviously), and what I'm about to say means no disrespect for the purpose of the commercial. With that in mind, I have to ask... what the hell's up with the Let California Ring commercial?

First and foremost, it doesn't reveal hardly anything about gay marriage - which, undoubtedly, would confuse an objective onlooker. Second of all, it's a bit more humorous (to me, at least) than probably intended.

Here, see for yourself. Then I'm gonna break it down in good ole' Eli-fashioned commentary...




Timeline:
00:00 - The promo begins on a beautiful, slightly orange, Fall afternoon. The bride peers over her shoulder in complete happiness as the rambunctious flower girl prances around the bedroom. (The perfect day, right...?)

00:11 - ...Think again. As dad opens the door to walk the blushing bride down the aisle, the handle suddenly breaks! (He barely even turned it. Does he have superhero strength? And who the hell installed these door handles? I'm glad dad was able to pry open the outer frame with his Iron Man fingertips.)

00:19 - Suddenly, a slew of cars block the path to the altar. (Alright, who was on parking duty??! Damn it Uncle Jeffrey, you had one job to do!)

00:24 - After hiking up her skirt as if she were an extra from Moulin Rouge, she steps on the aluminum cans hooked onto her 'bride and groom' getaway car. (Wait. Who actually puts aluminum cans on the back of the cars anymore? It's not very environmentally friendly...)

00:27 - She broke her heel! Now she has to limp all the way down the damn aisle like Carrie Strug. (Girl, for crying out loud, take off your other shoe!)

00:35 - The tree vindictively snatches her veil from her head - as if the notion of ducking and sliding were impossible.

00:41 - That rambunctious flower girl strikes again! (Where is this girl's mother??? Please, someone get her some Ritalin stat!)

00:47 - Perhaps my favorite part of the entire commercial - grandma pulls a Tonya Harding and whacks the bride in the knee with her cane. (Let's be honest, bitch tripped her granddaughter on purpose. The motivation behind the attack remains under investigation.)

00:50 - Then, her fiance attempts to chase to her side, but is ultimately held back by the bridal party. (If that's not the rudest best man I've ever seen. "Your bride-to-be just ate shit, but you're not allowed to help her!" P.S. I'm pretty sure the Priest held him back too... so rude.)

Then, the commercial concludes with her sitting there in utter dismay. Although I think the commercial is hilarious, don't discount the message behind it. Gays and lesbians all over the United States are prevented from marriage which is completely ridiculous. Fortunately, California is currently legal. But for how long? Vote against Proposition 8!

After all, someday even I would like my grandmother to trip me with her cane...