Monday, July 14, 2008

Blast from the Past: Part 2

Having lived in Los Angeles for nearly a year, I've become quite
observant with the "breed" of men we have out here. Granted, I haven't had an "inside look" with any specific guy (I'm a lady!). I have, however, noticed that the "genuine nice guy" isn't really easy to cum by these days. Especially when you live in this material world, where most gays are material girls...

Our planet is continually changing, causing habitats to be altered and modified. Natural changes tend to occur at a gradual pace, usually causing only a slight impact on individual species. However, when changes occur at a fast pace, there is little or no time for individual species to react and adjust to new circumstances – thus creating the endangered species. The brightest conservationists in the world have striven to stop the endangerment of an array of species – the bald eagle, the panther, and just recently in the ‘lovely’ city of Los Angeles…..the ‘nice guy’. Is this rare breed just a distant desire for the few singletons out there? Or are we just left to wonder what just exactly Bonnie Tyler was singing about…..just where have all the good guys gone?

Granted, living in the epicenter of
Los Angeles, you are bound to run into the dominate creature. I invite you on an intense animal hunt with me. Let’s observe, shall we???

First off, the conceited-trendy boy. Look how his metro-sexualness enhances his outer-shell. No longer can we see his natural personality, but rather, a completely new character is exhibited. His blue-colored contacts are blinding. His recently spray-on-tan is fierce. But most of all, beware of his cockiness - a trait many people at this university have - this feature allows him to make many feel inferior. (PROTECTION: Don’t look directly at them. Hopefully, this will deteriorate their confidence and kill them!)

Next, the skater-boi. Let’s watch as this dreadful breed skateboards through the crowds while attempting to balance correctly and hold onto his pants. Like the conceited-trendy boy, his confidence is unshaken and nothing on earth can break him ----- never mind, as we see, skater-boi is down and has just fallen off his skateboard. (PROTECTION: Laugh and point whenever they fall!)
Lastly, the bad-ass. This breed is severely dangerous. Nothing on earth can frighten them. Watch as he slouches on the bench, relaxing under the scorching sun, as a glistening light reflects off his designer sun-glasses. It’s summer, and not even the horrendous heat of a leather jacket and a blazed-cigarette can harm this man. He’s fearless and will, most definitely, frighten small children. (PROTECTION: Do NOTHING! Hopefully, the sun itself will kill him.)

Seriously though, as we see here, and around the city on a daily basis, there are very few nice-guys out there. Is it possible to find someone who is genuinely nice? Or, rather, are we just looking for a needle in a gay-stack? In either case, I’m going to remain optimistic. And for those who believe that they are, in fact, a nice person – well, we’ll just have to create our own herd and, with hopeful change in the future, adjust to new circumstances.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is it me or is this exactly how Cher describes the cliques at her high school to Ty?

E Dot said...

You can't hang with them unless you own a BMW.

jhaugebak said...

Don't you live in L.A.? I wasn't aware that there was actually more than one type of guy there. Aren't you all fame-whoring, skinny jean wearing, "eco-friendly" when it's trendy, man-scaping, botox snobs? =p

E Dot said...

Only on the weekends.