This morning, I exchanged my old rental car for a brand spankin' new one. The thought of having to drive grandma Sue's wagon wheels for two more weeks was too much to bare. Besides, it cost my left nut to fill up ... (and the value for the twins has depreciated).
The new car, a better sized Hyundai Accent, seems better suited for me. Until, however, I opened the door and was hit by the foulest stench that has ever come from a vehicle. I'm not exaggerating. The inside of the car seriously smells like ass exploded. A mix between dog stank, a carton of Marlboros, and lumberjack BO. Okay, I haven't actually smelt a lumberjack's body odor, but I can't imagine it smelling like rose blossoms. In any case, I attempted to drown out the pungence by fumigating the car with Glade 'Cranberry Delight and Everlasting Pine' air freshner. However, instead of disinfecting the problem, it made matters much worse. As a result, I have to drive around in Jethro Bodine's rundown station wagon.
Don't light a match.
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